The Latest in Anti-Tech Technology!

Mutual Phone-Attention: the highest state of intimacy the youth of today can achieve.

The phone epidemic is real. You can’t go anywhere these days without seeing people staring blankly at their glass screens. And we’re all thinking the same thing: so uncool.

Seriously how uncool do you get?

To counter this wave of un-hip, fad-following phone addicts, one corporation, Cavemen, has decided that 2015 will be the ideal time to launch their own anti-phone into the market. They promise it will have all the best features of Neo-Luddite technology to maximise the buyers cool factor. They are calling it the ‘Free Fone’.

The free fone itself!

This fake-phone, or ‘Fone’, has been set to be the newest big hit- a direct response to trend analysts’ prediction that people are sick of electronic devices and will now be following the Cool Kids, and ditching their phones for good.

The Free Fone is a completely electricity-free device, devoid of any of the up to date apps that have been consuming the attention span of the modern generation. It uses cutting edge technology to be as unaddictive and as useless as possible.

“We believe that all the really hip people believe that electronics are eating away at our life experience, despite TV ads futile attempts to claim the opposite.” Said a spokesperson for Cavemen Corporation. “It offers many excellent features. It’s completely wireless, and the battery will never run out on you. For even more cool-ness you can place it into any phone cover you like, making it personal to you.”

They promise their new fone will be a conversation starter at any party, and will guarantee to lead to laughter alongside those confused questions that will reassure you that you are the only one who gets it, along with your veganism and ironic René Magritte tee.

"We no usually the hip crowd base their beliefs on opposing the popular trend, however this time we think they're really onto something, and that this is not just a sensationalist idea."

Cavemen Corporation however are well aware that boring banks are too uncool to understand just what a revolution the fone will be, so they’ve decided to ask for money from the people that matter.

“We decided to use the Internet to crowd-fund the project, after the recent success of our competitors. After all, all the cool kids are using this new tech solution to counter corporations trying to make money out of gimmicks.”

What are your thought on the Fone? Let us know in the comment bellow.

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This Article is a spoof- but the links are real.

FEMINISTS ARE TERRORISTS

Guys! I'm a terrorist!

This is real. Freedom of speech...

As I know a lot of you know, I identify as a feminist. By this I mean:

What happens when you type 'feminist' into Google.

There's a line there on being equal to men- not above them, or eradicating them or such nonsense. It is not a case of #KillAllMen.

However the #KillAllMen does exist, and unfortunately I don't think all these comments are in good taste or a joke.

This, I, hope, is a joke.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is not really a feminist view. Actually if we took it as a feminist view the women would have to be killed afterwards in order to make them equal to the men, and that would be expensive. Not mention the end of our species, which would be a shame for us. Could be good for the planet though.

However what isn't good for our planet, or for any one, is the two extremist camps- the militant feminists, and the extreme anti-feminists.

One guy has collated a list of reasons why he's an anti-feminist.

It's long!

And reading it? Honestly I'm not surprised. These acts are horrible. Death threats and career ruining acts. If you think this is what feminism is, then hey, I get it, you want to be opposed to that. I am too.

But that's not what feminism is. It's like saying, though not as offensive, all Muslims are extremists and terrorists. Most sane, rational people know this isn't true, and wouldn't judge someone saying they were a Muslim based on terrorist bombings. At least I'd hope not.

Feminists hate militant feminists. In fact we probably hate them more than the anti-feminists. We have to spend our entire time saying "What? No male rape is just as serious!" and "Of course I don't think women should be allowed to beat up their partners!". Feminists know it's #notallmen, yet we also know that it's closer to #YesAllWomen then many people feel comfortable seeing. We don't want to label people as victims, instead we want to give a platform for people who have been hurt to fight.

“The Everyday Sexism movement is a fantastic idea - an opportunity for an open debate on the ways in which genders mindlessly form prejudices against each other. “ -Natasha Devon.

source

And she's right- but she's also right that a lot of people don't like the idea of men posting their stories- and believe me, many men are treated in a sexist manner. I've been a perpetrator of that, and I'm ashamed that of it. Thankfully my feminist friends, and other friends, have called me out on it. That's what we all need to do. Call each other our when are views are outdated.

Is the word feminism outdated? Not yet. Yes women are more free than they have ever been, and in the west they are very close to being equal. But we're not there yet. And more importantly, we're definitely not their globally. And I don't mean we as is women, I mean we as in all of us, regardless of sex or gender. Feminism is a just a sub-department of egalitarianism, that takes it from the perspective to the different treatments due to gender and sex. I think all true feminists are egalitarian.

The fact that male rape victims and female rape victims are treated differently? That is a feminist issue. We'll push it with the rest of you.

And to anybody who has felt mistreated at the hands of feminists, I'm sorry.

The Wikipedia article on the amazing Erin Prizzey, who has been harassed and threatened by militant feminists for daring to speak about domestic violence against men.

 She has signed the petition.

Don't judge us by our extremist camp. They are not us. Feminism is an ideology about letting people live their life they way they want to, regardless of their gender and sex. It's about freedom of identity and choice. Many feminists are men, we're not and 'us against them clique'. We don't hate men. We don't like the way people judge how they should have to behave based on their genitalia either.

Join the real feminists, and help us show the world Feminism shouldn't be a dirty word.

Wreck This Journal- Crack the Spine

It was either in year 10 or year 11 that I first came across Keri Smith's 'Wreck This Journal', my friend Beth had one. It was brilliant- a lesson in viewing creative destruction as a way to access art. Well, more... well it's a lot of fun to actually get to wreck something. It appeals to the childish instinct that sees a beautifully crafted sandcastle and wants nothing more than to jump on it.

Now, a few years later, I have been gifted my own by my lovely brother and sister-in-law. I have my own! Which means only one thing, it is time to follow orders and wreck it.

The question is where to start. After all, the order of the destruction is irrelevant. The end result is still a mess. So where to start... well last night, whilst sitting on my own in the dark I came across a command in the book that sent tingles up my spine.

Crack the spine.

If there is one label I am happy to have applied to me, it is that I am a bookworm. And like all bookworms I find the idea of dog-earing pages or cracking the spine physically painful. How could I intentionally do this to a gift? To a book? To a book?!How could someone who made the book, who most likely a lover of books themselves to create this format ask this of me? What could Ms Smith possibly want from me?

I have no idea how long I sat there in a daze, a cold sweat forming in the back of my neck. I knew I had to start here. If I couldn't do this- well what was the point of going on? (On with the journal, not on with life. I'm not that melodramatic).

So how to approach it?

Well... vertebra make up the spine right? And they have a spinious process! Easy I'll just crack one of them- or draw a cracked one! There! Problem solved!

Right?

Wrong of course. The fact is that the cracking of the books spine had to be that. It was a challenge I had to face up to and take face on. Coming up with creative excuses didn't solve the problem that if I couldn't face up to cracking to books spine, I wasn't going to be able to truly wreck the journal, and I would fail the artistic project.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. It was time for the plaster approach. I jumped to my feet and snapped the book sharply open and pulled down on the spine.

I'd done it. I'd intentionally crack the books spine.

I ran my finger along the newly scared back and wondered what I'd learned. The big thing was the book now felt real. As much as I don't like cracking spines after the end of the second read most of my books end up with them. Those scars show that the book and I have been on a journey together, and it's shaped my mind and distorted the books binding. It makes the book real, like it's grown up. Now the journal is real. It has been forced to go from being brand-new to looking well used in one movement.

It's like when you go through your first emotional loss as a child. Suddenly there's a new scar that makes up your identity and there is no going back.

I then used a Dalek to press the spine down further in a artistic display of just how evil book destruction is....

So, where to from here? Now that I've taken up a career of book destruction the sky is the limit! Have you ever wrecked a journal? How far did you get? Did you have any traumatic experiences? What was the most fun? And what should I do to wreck it next?

~Alice

New Lanark was awesome!

If I wanted to tell you about my walk in New Lanark I could say it was a pleasant day out. It was. However, in using the word ‘pleasant day’ I’d instantly fear that you don’t understand me. You may think I didn't enjoy it; that somehow there is something wrong with pleasant- despite the fact that pleasant is one of my favourite adjectives for things to be- that the whole thing wasn't that positive. Pleasant is great! However, I do not want you to think I mean the word to be dismissive so I may instead. ‘I had an awesome day out’ or ‘I had a wonderful day out’. Two very big words just to ensure you definitely understand it was a positive experience.

But pleasant is something different to ‘awesome’ and ‘wonderful’. So now I am going to (belatedly but shh) join the discussion surrounding the usage of the word ‘awesome’. To aid my point (I am making a point here, I swear) I looked up (googled) a definition for awesome:

“Extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring awe.”

Google, the ever helpful superintelligence that will someday enslave humanity, also gave, usefully, an example of the correct usage of the word:

“The awesome power of the atomic bomb.”

So, in-order to have you correctly understand how good a time I had out on my walk in New Lanark, I compared it to the power of an atom bomb. My walk under some pretty beach trees by a waterfall was awesome- like the bomb that wiped out Nagasaki. The word awesome means a very different thing to me than it does to google.

Because the word may define big things, but when it comes down to it ‘awesome’ means very little. You and I know that ‘awesome’ is merely a positive word that indicates a definite feeling happiness, universally applicable to all situations from getting an unexpected day off, to finding a shade of nail varnish that matches those shoes you love to wear. People call the word overused, and I have heard many people be-moaning that now it is very hard to describe the big, grande things in life, since large words are used for small things. The dictionary (google) may give the word its definition, but what the word actually means comes from people. If people think that everyone in the social group agreeing to meet at six is ‘awesome’, then people are right.

That is awesome.

But... how do we describe big things? Big emotions? Big days? With excessive punctuation? Lots of questions? Dramatic-over-use of language devices?

I don’t know. I am a person, not people. Authors have come up with millions of paper objects that have tried to find a way to communicate emotions effectively. But right now if I wanted to talk about the feeling you get when you’ve achieved something you’ve worked hard on for a long time, that feeling is… pleasant. If I was to talk about what it’s like to get lost in your mind thinking of all the millions of little things that change over all the millions of years to turn a single celled organism into an otter- it’s odd. Two small words. But small words can mean big things.

Just think Jane Austen vs Shakespeare and you’ll probably see the point I’m attempting to make.

So yes, I had a wonderful, nay, awesome time at New Lanark. But how did I feel seeing my family again for the first time in a long time? It was nice.