Mutual Phone-Attention: the highest state of intimacy the youth of today can achieve.
The phone epidemic is real. You can’t go anywhere these days without seeing people staring blankly at their glass screens. And we’re all thinking the same thing: so uncool.
Seriously how uncool do you get?
To counter this wave of un-hip, fad-following phone addicts, one corporation, Cavemen, has decided that 2015 will be the ideal time to launch their own anti-phone into the market. They promise it will have all the best features of Neo-Luddite technology to maximise the buyers cool factor. They are calling it the ‘Free Fone’.
The free fone itself!
This fake-phone, or ‘Fone’, has been set to be the newest big hit- a direct response to trend analysts’ prediction that people are sick of electronic devices and will now be following the Cool Kids, and ditching their phones for good.
The Free Fone is a completely electricity-free device, devoid of any of the up to date apps that have been consuming the attention span of the modern generation. It uses cutting edge technology to be as unaddictive and as useless as possible.
“We believe that all the really hip people believe that electronics are eating away at our life experience, despite TV ads futile attempts to claim the opposite.” Said a spokesperson for Cavemen Corporation. “It offers many excellent features. It’s completely wireless, and the battery will never run out on you. For even more cool-ness you can place it into any phone cover you like, making it personal to you.”
They promise their new fone will be a conversation starter at any party, and will guarantee to lead to laughter alongside those confused questions that will reassure you that you are the only one who gets it, along with your veganism and ironic René Magritte tee.
"We no usually the hip crowd base their beliefs on opposing the popular trend, however this time we think they're really onto something, and that this is not just a sensationalist idea."
"We no usually the hip crowd base their beliefs on opposing the popular trend, however this time we think they're really onto something, and that this is not just a sensationalist idea."
Cavemen Corporation however are well aware that boring banks are too uncool to understand just what a revolution the fone will be, so they’ve decided to ask for money from the people that matter.
“We decided to use the Internet to crowd-fund the project, after the recent success of our competitors. After all, all the cool kids are using this new tech solution to counter corporations trying to make money out of gimmicks.”
What are your thought on the Fone? Let us know in the comment bellow.
What are your thought on the Fone? Let us know in the comment bellow.
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This Article is a spoof- but the links are real.
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